apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize