My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
