would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
someone owes me an orgasm
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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