Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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