its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
