Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
