Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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