she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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