It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
