Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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