every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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