I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize