what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
