Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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