I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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