It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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