they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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