i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize