Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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