dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
