i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize