if you like me you must not know who I am
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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