and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.