found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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