Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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  (913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (1695) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (418) Bad night (2055) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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  (314): i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out. http://tfl.nu/zite
  Replies (19) Good night (4553) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer

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  (802): i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer http://tfl.nu/uupu
  Replies (16) Good night (5409) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.

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  (404): hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma. http://tfl.nu/dkbg
  Replies (37) Good night (4270) Bad night (7250) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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  (407): So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves http://tfl.nu/mggy
  Replies (20) Good night (5989) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.

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  (315): Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet. http://tfl.nu/7a74
  Replies (17) Good night (8925) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.

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  (443): i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me. http://tfl.nu/hmc1
  Replies (11) Good night (3891) Bad night (1713)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2725) Bad night (1697) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4716) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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  (248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1172) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.

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  (586): I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird. http://tfl.nu/l2d5
  Replies (13) Good night (1082) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

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  (619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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  (419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt

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