Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.