Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning

  (410): View more from Maryland

  how does that even happen??

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  (610): you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning (410): how does that even happen?? http://tfl.nu/16pg
  Replies (3) Good night (1879) Bad night (635)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

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  (732): please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty http://tfl.nu/l1xo
  Replies (31) Good night (1100) Bad night (3954)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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  (678): His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum. http://tfl.nu/czce
  Replies (35) Good night (925) Bad night (6618)
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  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1025) Bad night (5316)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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  (519): I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA". http://tfl.nu/ak7j
  Replies (9) Good night (3677) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck

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  (610): getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck http://tfl.nu/662u
  Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (2454)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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  (+44): I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this. http://tfl.nu/p3jk
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (2345)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (541)
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  (948): View more from

  He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.

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  (948): He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE. http://tfl.nu/y75n
  Replies (17) Good night (548) Bad night (2444)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You made out with two different species that night

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  (508): You made out with two different species that night http://tfl.nu/gvcb
  Replies (8) Good night (511) Bad night (1362)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i found out she really is a mensa member

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party

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  (484): i found out she really is a mensa member (215): so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party http://tfl.nu/5lqf
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (391)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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  (484): HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again http://tfl.nu/udnf
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (251)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation

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  (407): Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation http://tfl.nu/aq4y
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (240)

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