I faked an abortion last night.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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