Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
