I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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