I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
