8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
