Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(312): View more from Illinois

My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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(512): View more from Texas

when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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(229): View more from Georgia

No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�

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(619): View more from California

Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

All I need is to get out and get laid

(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for

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(330): View more from Ohio

We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.

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