It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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