What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize