Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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