i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
