worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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