is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize