I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
