i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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