Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
