probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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