its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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