I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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