i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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