So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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