So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
