i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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