wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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