I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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