i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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