Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
