Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
