I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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