Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
