i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
A bitchslap is in order.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
