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• (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

  Fav 6 1122 1874

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You are the reason we need health care reform

  Fav 55 3256 1324

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

  Fav 13 3940 1322

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

  Fav 14 4020 1122

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

  Fav 5 1360 1416

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

  Fav 4 2329 706

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body

  Fav 11 1898 969

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• (805): View more from California

  Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

  Fav 4 1419 546

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.

  Fav 4 837 451

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.

  Fav 1 441 825

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.

  Fav 2 654 383

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse

  Fav 1 341 376

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...

  Fav 0 45 19

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.

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• (415): View more from California

  He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.

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