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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever

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• (650): View more from California

  Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.

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• (61): View more from Australia

  You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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• (925): View more from California

  We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.

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• (634): View more from

  i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on

  (665): View more from

  good night

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet

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