we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize