you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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